Trump Picks Cleveland Clinic’s Dr. Neides to Head US Department of Wellness (satire)

neidesPresident Elect Donald Trump’s transition team announced today that he was nominating Cleveland Clinic’s Dr. Daniel Neides to head the US Department of Wellness (formerly Department of Health and Human Services). Dr. Neides comes from Cleveland Clinic where he is the current medical director and COO of the Cleveland Clinic’s wellness institute.

“We are excited to announce Dr. Neides’ appointment to head our Department of Wellness.” Stated President Trump’s transition team in a press release, “We strive to provide America with the most up to date medical care, and Dr. Neides’ views are so ‘up to date’ that no other physician with any level of expertise has yet evolved into believing them. That makes him the perfect choice to join Rick Perry, Ben Carson, and others with similar ‘up to date’ views of policy in their areas where we have assigned them to have expertise.”

Dr. Neides recently came under fire for an article published on Cleveland.com addressing his controversial views on vaccines. In the article, he pointed out how vaccines contain “known carcinogens” such as formaldehyde and how a rise in autism must be related to aluminum and other vaccine adjuvants. Although all scientific studies on the topic have debunked these claims, Dr. Neides cites incontrovertible evidence with declarations such as, “For those born in the 1950’s and 60’s, do you recall a single student in your grade with an Individualized Education Program (IEP) for ADHD or someone with a diagnosis of autism? I do not.”

Donald Trump himself weighed in on the subject with a tweet: Dr. Neides is exactly the type of doctor who will help me MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN. Anyone, including all the doctors, who disagrees with his absolutely correct views is STUPID!

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