Monthly Archives: January 2017

Trump Picks Cleveland Clinic’s Dr. Neides to Head US Department of Wellness (satire)

neidesPresident Elect Donald Trump’s transition team announced today that he was nominating Cleveland Clinic’s Dr. Daniel Neides to head the US Department of Wellness (formerly Department of Health and Human Services). Dr. Neides comes from Cleveland Clinic where he is the current medical director and COO of the Cleveland Clinic’s wellness institute.

“We are excited to announce Dr. Neides’ appointment to head our Department of Wellness.” Stated President Trump’s transition team in a press release, “We strive to provide America with the most up to date medical care, and Dr. Neides’ views are so ‘up to date’ that no other physician with any level of expertise has yet evolved into believing them. That makes him the perfect choice to join Rick Perry, Ben Carson, and others with similar ‘up to date’ views of policy in their areas where we have assigned them to have expertise.”

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