National Residency Matching Program Partners with Match.com

match

The National Residency Matching Program (NRMP) has announced a partnership with Match.com to connect personally compatible medical students together in the match process. Unbeknownst to some, however, a trial run of the program actually recently took place for the current match. Early indications are that the program will be quite controversial.

A spokesperson for the NRMP defended the new program in the following statement, “Too often we have seen residents match at the program of their dreams only to be personally unfulfilled by working alongside other physicians with incompatible personalities. We feel this new algorithm will set our trainees up for both personal and professional success.”

A 4th year medical student at Hollywood Upstairs Medical School, Hermione Alexander, 27, knew something was amiss with the new system when she was filling out her ERAS application and some unusually personal queries came up on her screen. “After I filled out the part about my residency specialty choice,” she commented, “a screen came up asking me to answer some strange questions.  Included in these inquiries were my favorite alcoholic drink (gin and tonic), my taste in movies (romantic comedies), and, most oddly, my favorite sexual position. I mean, that’s offensive! I can’t pick a favorite”!

Letters of recommendation, in the past requested only from professional mentors, are now requested from both 2 professional sources and 2 personal sources, such as an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, a “friend with benefits,” or from that one night stand the applicant may have had in college.

The algorithm is designed to handle a number of variables to link up the perfectly compatible residency class. For one, the algorithm ignores current relationship status as it considers the possibility that if the applicant may be able to do better than their current significant other, if applicable. Also, the selection process factors in certain personality quirks do determine if a rigorous academic program would be right for the applicant or if perhaps if a “party program” would be a better fit.

“Some applicants may be upset when they get their 13th choice for residency, but the algorithm doesn’t lie. If there is a chance that you may be personally unhappy with your colleagues, then it’s not worth wasting your time with your ‘Dream Program’ or even your ‘Dream Specialty,’” commented a spokesman for Match.com.

Finally, in the past, residencies were not allowed to ask personal questions during their interviews. With the new system, however, these types of questions will now be encouraged. As a result, residency directors and their assistants have recently been seen working out at the gym and drinking Slim-Fast in record numbers.

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